Who Needs a Handyman When You've Got YouTube and Desperation?

Ever tried to stain your deck while holding a philosophical debate with an eight-year-old about whether unicorns might be real if you believe hard enough? I have, and let's just say, it's a miracle we still have a deck. Or how about installing custom shelving with only the "helpful" advice of a Husky who thinks power tools are chew toys? Yup, been there too. Welcome to my quirky world of DIY disasters and makeshift triumphs in home improvement.

DIY: A Test of Marriage and Sanity

Let me paint you a picture. There's me, attempting to measure the space for a new shelf, and there’s my lovely wife, convinced I'm about to drill into a gas line and blow us to kingdom come. Add to that, my sons who think the manual is just a manufacturer's suggestion and not actual instructions.

And it's not like I don’t try. I do. But between you and me, the on-demand handyman service is on speed dial. It’s just that sometimes my pride says, "Hey Justin, why not give it a shot?" But really, should I? The jury's still out.

Carpentry is like playing chess with wood and nails—always be three moves ahead or prepare for collapse.

Deck Staining: Not Just a Color Choice

Staining the deck seemed like an easy weekend job. Oh, how naive I was. Choosing the right stain turned into a debate akin to choosing a baby name. And actually applying it? Let's just say my deck looked like a zebra for a couple of weeks.

In my experience, the key to successful deck staining is simple: hide the brushes from your kids and hope for the best. If nothing else, it builds character—and possibly new woodwork skills, as you may need to replace the deck sooner than expected.

Why I'm a Reluctant Carpenter

My wife insists on custom solutions around the house. Sure, it sounds great in theory. Custom shelving installations tailored to our needs? Sign us up. But the reality involves more geometry than I remember from high school and a whole lot of muttered curse words. But hey, when it turns out well, I look like a hero... or at least, a competent adult.

And then there's small job handymen. For someone who’s perfected the system of launching businesses, you’d think I’d handle fixing a squeaky door like a pro. But here’s a fun fact: the squeak is still there. It’s practically a family member now.

Lessons I’ve (Painfully) Learned:

• YouTube is a liar. Those folks edit out their mistakes.
• Measure twice, cut once, and still somehow end up with an extra piece of wood.
• There's nothing like the fear of a spouse's "I told you so" to really motivate a proper DIY.
• Never, I repeat, never tell your kids "that will put hair on your chest" while mixing paint.
• Lastly, embrace the chaos. It makes for great dinner party stories.

After all, isn’t life just one big, messy, beautiful DIY project? I’d say so.